You’re not alone

Can you see the sun 

It shines so bright

The pain it feels 

To burn for you. 

Can you see the trees

The ones standing tall

On who’s shade you sit

Bearing the heat 

So you dont have to 

Here you thought 

No one cares for you 

Here you believed 

You’re alone today

Remember to look up

You’ll find friends 

To show you the way

Even if they are 

Light years away. 

Can you ? 

It’s been a while 

Words hide from me at times.

You are here now.

Why do I forget.

Why do I jump to the future

Always 

When did it start to hurt so bad

Was it before you 

Or after 

Footsteps louder than our words

How I always say hush.

Before we make a sound 

We gotta keep it down

These hands never touch

Lest the eyes are on us

Water droplets on my forehead

Running through the woods

Can I find me ?

Can you ? 

Whats the best anyway ? 

I had watched this show called ‘louie’ and it was hilarious. It followed this comedian as he struggled through single parenting And new York city. It was funny in parts and really well directed in others. Both of whose credit goes to this gentleman called Louis CK who played himself on the series. 

He is a funny man but this is not about him but what he said in one of the episodes of the show. He mentioned something about people spending huge amounts of time on deciding the best thing for them.  Like if they wanted to go to our to eat they’ll Google it and and they will tea the reviews and they wanted the best for themselves. 

And thats what he was making fun of. He was saying something along the lines of why do people think they deserve the best . Why do they think they will buy the best toaster or the best tv or the best anything when they lead perfectly average lives. 

It was actually funnier when he said it. I cant even rephrase it properly but that really got me thinking. Like seriously we are so heavily dependent on other people’s opinion of things and we don’t even realise it. We have no idea how deeply we have been conditioned. The reviews and ratings are everything now. We spend hours scrolling through comments trying to figure out what’s best for us. And intact we do finally decide but end up not happy with that thing. Why is that ? 

Well what I am trying to say here is that we as consumers are fooled that we are deciding the best for us but we are infact being duped into thinking that those 8.1 ratings are all honest , selfless ratings. They are intact being made by companies who are hiring people to make accounts and go on public sites and rate them greatly. In fact you can buy reviews and ratings. It’s no biggie. 

So basically the question is What is the best anyway ? Like how are we going to decide that? and how are other people with choice and preferences entirely different from us going to decide that for us ? 

Now I am not against the internet or the reviews per se. Cause they help. I can know right away that that place is shitty or the toaster stops working in 4 days . That helps.

 But what doesn’t is the fact that we are so heavily dependent on them that we don’t give new things a chance anymore. And we should. New things mean that we discover small little shops and things and you never know that might be the next best thing? 

Can’t

Another panic attack. Can’t calm down at all. Feeling lost and cant get a hold of my emotions.

The music isn’t helping.  Nothing is helping. I hate being this helpless these days. I don’t like it. 

It’s okay for a minute then it’s not and you don’t even know why . And that’s why it  hurts the most. 

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