Can you ? 

It’s been a while 

Words hide from me at times.

You are here now.

Why do I forget.

Why do I jump to the future

Always 

When did it start to hurt so bad

Was it before you 

Or after 

Footsteps louder than our words

How I always say hush.

Before we make a sound 

We gotta keep it down

These hands never touch

Lest the eyes are on us

Water droplets on my forehead

Running through the woods

Can I find me ?

Can you ? 

Whats the best anyway ? 

I had watched this show called ‘louie’ and it was hilarious. It followed this comedian as he struggled through single parenting And new York city. It was funny in parts and really well directed in others. Both of whose credit goes to this gentleman called Louis CK who played himself on the series. 

He is a funny man but this is not about him but what he said in one of the episodes of the show. He mentioned something about people spending huge amounts of time on deciding the best thing for them.  Like if they wanted to go to our to eat they’ll Google it and and they will tea the reviews and they wanted the best for themselves. 

And thats what he was making fun of. He was saying something along the lines of why do people think they deserve the best . Why do they think they will buy the best toaster or the best tv or the best anything when they lead perfectly average lives. 

It was actually funnier when he said it. I cant even rephrase it properly but that really got me thinking. Like seriously we are so heavily dependent on other people’s opinion of things and we don’t even realise it. We have no idea how deeply we have been conditioned. The reviews and ratings are everything now. We spend hours scrolling through comments trying to figure out what’s best for us. And intact we do finally decide but end up not happy with that thing. Why is that ? 

Well what I am trying to say here is that we as consumers are fooled that we are deciding the best for us but we are infact being duped into thinking that those 8.1 ratings are all honest , selfless ratings. They are intact being made by companies who are hiring people to make accounts and go on public sites and rate them greatly. In fact you can buy reviews and ratings. It’s no biggie. 

So basically the question is What is the best anyway ? Like how are we going to decide that? and how are other people with choice and preferences entirely different from us going to decide that for us ? 

Now I am not against the internet or the reviews per se. Cause they help. I can know right away that that place is shitty or the toaster stops working in 4 days . That helps.

 But what doesn’t is the fact that we are so heavily dependent on them that we don’t give new things a chance anymore. And we should. New things mean that we discover small little shops and things and you never know that might be the next best thing? 

Can’t

Another panic attack. Can’t calm down at all. Feeling lost and cant get a hold of my emotions.

The music isn’t helping.  Nothing is helping. I hate being this helpless these days. I don’t like it. 

It’s okay for a minute then it’s not and you don’t even know why . And that’s why it  hurts the most. 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10…

Maybe not even then,

No I don’t find that it’s odd that we celebrate International Women’s Day. Because it’s not just a randomly assigned day. It has historical significance .It’s more of a reminder of how far we have come and how far we still have to go. It was this day 1917 that women first won the right to vote in Russia and subsequently in other countries. This date is to mark that struggle which we should not have had to fight. If women’s right was regarded as human rights then all these women wouldn’t have had to fight so hard for these basic rights. And believe me the fight is far from over. 
Yes we want equality. We want to be free of the fear that surrounds us everytime we leave the house. We wish for that day where we walk the streets and we don’t have to hear cat calls or cheap songs aimed at us. Where we won’t have acid thrown at our faces just to reinforce some primitive idea of patriarchy. Where the length of our skirt does not determine our character. Where we don’t have to book a cab from a male colleague’s phone at night just to make sure the cab driver doesn’t get any ideas. Where we don’t have to deal with misogyny from our own family members. Where we don’t have to be cordial to the uncle who sexually abused us as a child. Where education includes gender sensitization and not gender segregation. 
It’s true it’s about women. What can the men do ? As Gloria Steinem rightly said “We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters” That’s what we need to do. I sometimes wonder instead of telling our daughters to be home by 9,why don’t we stop the boys from going out at night. Wouldn’t it make the streets safer ? I know it’s a far fetched thought but it certainly gives you persepective. We need to raise our boys right. We need to teach them how to respect women and how to treat them. Instead of telling our daughters what not to do, why don’t we tell our sons how to behave properly ? 
To all those who say women have all the rights now what are they still fighting for ( and those who think we are asking for too much), I want to tell them go to our villages, hell go to any of the streets of a metro city and tell me that there are no crimes against women, that men are not raping/harassing/abusing/lynching women, that there is no domestic violence , that we as a section of society are not being subjected to abuse, harassment just for being of a specific gender. That we are not getting 20% less than our male counterparts for basically doing the same job. That we are not being overlooked for a promotion by virtue of being a women. Or by chance if we do get the promotion we are not thought of as whores who sleep their way to the top. When crime against women, sexual objectification, misogyny, casual sexiest remarks at everyday conversations stops, that’s when our fight stops. Maybe not even then.